we're blogging at a bar
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
