Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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