I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
