problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
