There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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