Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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