I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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