Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
