she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
