yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
