I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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