Nicole vs. Life
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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