I feel like I'm in dance class right now
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
