JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
