Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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