Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize