i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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