Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
