At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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