She's JV to your varsity
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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