youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
