I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize