I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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