Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I currently don't understand fingers.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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