he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
