Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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