i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
