Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
