Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
