if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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