I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Randomize
