This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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