Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
