Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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