WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
