He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
