Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
