How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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