i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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