I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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