just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
