I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
