dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Randomize
