I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I AM VODKA MAN
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
