First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
