This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
