Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
