It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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