You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
