I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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