Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
