you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
