Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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