So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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