So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
