No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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