Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Screwed.edu
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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