I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
