I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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