i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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