dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
