just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
