Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
