I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
