so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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